Loki's Message
by Starsurfer108
Summary: Loki and Tony Stark face off at Stark Industries about exactly what is best for future of the planet. Involves an environmental and socio-economic discussion. ONESHOT. COMPLETE.


Tony ran a hand through his hair as he moved to the kitchen area of Stark Industries and poured himself a drink. He stopped short as he realised he wasn't alone in the room, and became as still as a statue as he saw it was Loki.

Loki looked amused, and started to pace with slow steps.

"New sceptre. Nice," said Tony nonchalantly, trying to ascertain Loki's intentions by downplaying the whole thing.

"Yes, I got an upgrade. This particular one means I rule over Asgard."

"What, one throne not enough for you?"

Loki shook his head. "It's not exactly a game for me."

"Then why are you here?" Tony was getting irritated.

"Simply for a chance to redeem myself."

"You want me to believe that you're one of the good guys now?"

"But I always was."

Tony let out a huff. "OK. I don't know what shit you're trying to pull, but you'd probably do better saying you're working for Santa, reindeer games."

Loki gave a forced laugh. "You don't like me."

"Yeah, that tends to happen when someone throws me out a window, and tries to kill me and everyone else," said Tony, nodding, a frown on his face.

"And what if I were to say that if I truly wanted you and the others dead, then I wouldn't have to do a damn thing?"

"Listen, Loki, I've had a long day, and the last thing I want is to have to listen to your bullshit. Why don't you just go back to your own realm, and let us be free to make our own decisions, hm?"

"Freedom is overrated. Give people enough freedom, and quite frankly, _this_ happens." Loki made a wide gesture with his arms.

Tony looked around. "By _this_, you mean…"

"Unsustainability."

"Alright, I'll give you that. One could argue that the world is in bad shape."

"Correct. One doesn't have to be a genius to figure that out."

"So you expect me to believe you're… a…"

"A greenie?" Loki finished.

Tony blinked and gave a sniff. "See, you are making sense here, Loki, but it's the whole psychopath-take-over-the-world-through-justifiable-homicide thing that I just don't like added into the mix."

Loki laughed. "Well, the world _is_ overpopulated."

Tony's eyes widened.

Loki cleared his throat. "Look, enough joking-"

"That was a joke?"

"Yes, that tends to be my _thing_," replied Loki, narrowing his eyes.

"Look, Loki, I can see what you're offering here, but I think we can manage on our own _just fine_."

Loki let out a small huff. "I don't think so. Not from where I'm sitting."

"Well, no one really _cares_ what you think."

"Look, you can hurl all the insults you want at me, but it won't stop the reality which is that change isn't happening fast enough."

That was an unusual – he expected Loki to fly off the handle at any personal insult. "OK, well, we're developing a new energy source that's about 70% ready-"

"An energy source? You're banking the future of the world on the fact you can get a new energy source ready in time? That might be just one change that needs to happen, but there are plenty more that need to happen _right now_. Such as eliminating the use of plastic as much as we can, because it breaks down into plastic molecules which will then be integrated into the ecosystem through the oceans. Last time I checked, eating plastic wasn't exactly good for your species, as well as all the others."

Tony frowned. He did seem genuine. Regardless, he had better continue to humour Loki and keep him busy while he could figure out the best plan of action. "And why exactly are you talking to me, and not someone in the government who specializes in this sort of thing?"

"Please. The bureaucracy makes everything so inefficient. Relying on the government in its current state would be completely idiotic."

"OK, I'll give you that. So you're coming to _me_ because…?"

"I'm attracted to guys with _power_," he said rather sarcastically, eyeing the centre of Tony's chest.

Tony gave a forced smile, with no change in his eyes. "Uh-huh. And by power, what you're really saying is the world is going to hell and it's all _my_ fault?"

"Yes, exactly. I'm assuming you're not down to your last cent. I'm assuming you have connections to other powerful people."

"Alright, Loki. So what should I do?" he asked, testily.

"You could loan out money to people to make environmental changes in their homes, for no-interest repayments. Solar panels, grey-water systems, worm farms, rainwater tanks, insulation, and so forth."

"OK, well, that might actually not be such a bad idea."

"_Really?_ Yes, that's quite obvious," Loki replied quite coldly.

Tony frowned. He couldn't exactly accuse Loki of kissing his ass, which did make him seem on the level. "So, anything _else_ I can do for you today?" he asked, exasperated.

Loki cocked his head. "Yes. You can make sure you uphold your end of the bargain."

Pepper Potts entered with glassy blue eyes, showing she was under Loki's mind control.

Loki patted her on the shoulder. "We wouldn't want all logic to go _out the window_, now, would we?"

"You know, you really did have me for a second there. But you pull a stunt like this, altruistic or not, I'll make you pay to the point where you wish you'd never been born."

Loki smirked, and released Pepper from the spell, to Tony's surprise. She blinked, regaining her bearings.

He frowned, but was more relaxed now she was free. "You're not exactly a people person, are you, Loki?"

"I think it's quite amusing the way that logic truly can go out the window the moment your mate is immediately threatened, even though she and all others would be threatened by environmental disaster. But I guess you humans have your limitations."

Tony pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Show me the formula for this 70% completed energy source."

Tony gave a tired, strained laugh. "You want me to allow you to _screw around_ with my computer. I don't think so. You might say I have trust issues, but then again, you might say they're quite deserved."

"Look, I'm really not as horny as I might appear. I don't want to screw _everything_."

Tony was caught between curiosity about a solution to the energy source problem, caution about being a pawn in Loki's plans, and tearing his hair out.

He decided that he didn't have anything to lose by talking about it. "Well, the thing is about arc reactors, above a certain size-"

"Let me guess, you're having trouble with the stability of it."

Tony froze. "You really think you have the solution to that," he asked incredulously.

"Yes, I have the _magic_ formula."

Tony gritted his teeth. "You know, you _really_ are trying my patience here with all these terrible jokes."

"Yes, it's a test, to see how dedicated you are," Loki replied playfully.

Tony gave a forced smile, fully aware that the real reason was to irritate him. "So have I passed this… _test_?"

Loki smirked. "First, I'd like an apology."

Infuriated, Tony stepped forward. After a good ten seconds, and with great restraint, he said "I apologise for what I said."

"And that was…?"

"Oh, the less specific, the better," he said, glowering.

Loki chuckled. "I expected more from you."

"I _really_ hope we're not talking sexual favours here."

"I don't think so. Who knows where your mouth has been."

Angry at the insult to Pepper, Tony grabbed Loki by the neck with one hand and pulled him close, gritting his teeth.

Loki looked entertained. Realising he was being toyed with again, Tony rolled his eyes and let him go.

Loki straightened his collar. "Thank you. You humans really are quite amusing. Quite the joke."

"_You're_ a joke. A _bad_ one."

Loki looked amused.

Tony squared off with him. "Enough fucking around. Where's this _magic_ formula?"

"It's already in your computer," Loki replied smoothly.

Surprised, Tony looked at Pepper, who nodded.

Tony looked back at Loki. "May I?"

Loki nodded. "Please do. I would like to know if you understand it or not."

Pursing his lips at the affront to his intelligence, Tony briskly walked over to the nearest terminal. He looked through the complex mathematical formula, eventually becoming very still. After reading it, he looked at Loki with eyes that showed new-found respect and walked over to him. Loki looked pleased.

"You're one very irritating guy, Loki," he said, holding his hand out.

"Yes, I've gathered that," said Loki, a content smile appearing on his face, and shook his hand.

AND THE WORLD IS SAVED.

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I know Loki's supposed to be bisexual, but in my mind, in this fic, he's saying innuendo just to piss Tony off. And Tony's playing along with Loki due to curiosity about the energy source, plus to keep safe.

I think it's that banter in The Avengers about Tony talking about performance issues which made it seem natural to joke about sex. Pepper was in the room, therefore it wasn't serious in my mind. Anyway, hope it was all amusing.

I'm still not entirely sure whether Loki being bisexual is referring only to his appearance i.e. changing himself to Lady Loki, or his sexual preference.

I like the idea of people overcoming their differences for the greater good. And Loki certainly did make it as difficult as possible for Tony, which is in character for the god of mischief, I think!


End file.
